F**K Flattering: My Pixie Cut Journey OR How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course #10: Being Visible (You Decide)

Sorry for the super long title, it was worth it though. I have joined the ranks of fabulous fatties with pixies and I couldn't be happier to be a member of that gang. I have never been one to follow the rules of fashion, and I am certainly ignoring downright flouting quite a few by sporting this hair do. Some of the gems I found on the internet while researching this subject: you shouldn't have a pixie if the space between your ear and chin is longer than 5.5cm, you shouldn't have a pixie if your fat, you shouldn't have short hair if you're a girl (possibly the most ridiculous?), the list goes on and on. Well I say fuck the rules, it's my body and I am going to do what I please with it and look damn fine while doing it. 

I really debated getting my hair cut this short for a loooooong time. I had it this short as a kid and really liked it, even though all the old ladies thought I was a little boy. Last time I went to get it cut (February, whoops long time ago) I chickened out and just got a trim. I am not sure what made this time different, maybe I was just fed up with the bullshit rules and comments people have made lately about my appearance, but I just decided to go for it and I am so glad I did. It took a few days to get used to the length and how to style it, but the initial shock was totally worth the final result. Maybe one day I will style it in a sweet beehive like Rachele!  What do you guys think? Have you ever done anything just because everyone else said you shouldn't?     

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course #11: Dealing With Diet Talk

source

Assignment

It might also help you if you write down some responses in your own words to these inevitable encounters so that you feel prepared to get through your next family reunion or workplace potluck. Even if you don't use them you can work through your feelings about it. Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

This is definitely a hot button issue for my family. It comes up pretty frequently at family gatherings so it will be great to have a few go-to responses for when this happens. It will also be nice for work because I have a few co-workers that are not body positive and it is hard to deal with sometimes. Here are some of the responses that I came up with:

"I think people have a right to do what they want with their body. Who are we to judge? How do we know that they aren't perfectly happy as they are?"
"To me fat is not a negative word, it is simply a descriptive word, like happy or tall etc."
"You cannot make assumptions about a person's health based off of their size. There are a way more contributing factors to health besides weight anyway."
"I don't feel comfortable discussing other people's/strangers choices, especially in regards to their body, it's too personal. Let's talk about something else. Have you read any good books lately?"

I think that's a pretty good standard list for most of the situations I have found myself in. Can anyone think of anything else to add?

Discussion

I recently made the decision to either unfriend or filter out online friends that do a lot of diet talking or post fat hate. It wasn't exactly easy and a one didn't understand and lashed out at me. What is your policy on online friends? Have you gone through your friend's list and given people the axe?

When I finished school I went through my Facebook and "axed" quite a few of the people that I had friended over the years. Most of the people didn't get axed because of diet talk (although there were a few). It was mostly people that I only friended because they were in my programs and it was good to have them on there for contact purposes. I make it a personal rule to not friend anyone unless I really know them and their ideals. It's the same for blogs, tumblr, pinterest etc.. I read through their posts and make a decision based off of what I see. If they seem negative in anyway about body positivity or other important issues, then I won't follow them. I definitely filter who I am friends with online, it just makes life more pleasant for everyone involved.

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course #9: Haters Gonna Hate

*I skipped Weeks 7 and 8 for now but I am working on them slowly*

Assignment

Surround yourself with fat positive people and things! I make a point of doing this and it can be difficult to let go of a friend or TV show but if they make hateful comments about you or someone else and are not supportive, it's time to say goodbye. Make a list of 5 friends, activities, TV shows, books, websites, etc. that are fat positive. Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

Discussion

For the most part, I ignore the haters. I usually avoid comments on articles, forums, etc. But occasionally when I am in the right mindset, I read a few comments and they end up motivating me. Probably the opposite of their intent. How do you handle the haters? I would recommend not reading their comments. They are gross.

Generally I try to avoid reading comments because they are just going to make me angry. When I do read them, at first I get mad, but then I realize that the person making that comment is probably insecure about their own appearance and feels the need to take it out on others. I tend not to leave my own comment unless it is something that I feel very passionate about and can make a meaningful contribution to. 

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course Week #6

Discussion

If you had to name your VBO, what would you call it? I think I would name mine Ms. Jiggly N. Fluffy, Master of Sexy and Spandex. Because she likes spandex. Your turn!

Squishy "Not A Baby But Still Awesome" McGee 

Assignment

Stand in front of a mirror and come to terms and get to know your VBO. Talk to it, tell it why you love it, sing it a song, tell it it's sexy, touch it, etc. Do this once or until you have happy feelings about your belly. Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

A Letter To My VBO

Oh VBO, 

in the past I haven't been very kind to you and I think I need to apologize to you for that.

I used to stare at you in the mirror, think mean thoughts about you and call you names.

I didn't think you were very attractive and wished you away on several occasions.

I would hate it when people would mistake you for being a baby and not just fat.

To be perfectly honest you used to be the stuff of nightmares. 

But lately things have changed. Lately I don't hate you so much. 

Lately I have grown to accept you, appreciate you, even love you. 

And do you know why?

Because you are a part of me.

You are what makes me special.

You are what makes me beautiful.

You are what makes me me. 

And I love you for that. 

So thank you VBO for helping me learn to accept and love you, 

and in turn accept and love myself.

I hope we can put our hateful relationship behind us and have a long and happy life together.

Yours always,

Hope  

 

How To Be a Fat Bitch e-course Week #5

Discussion

I prefer sincere compliments over too many compliments, probably because duh, I am vain and I am hearing what I already know. What about you? Can you take a compliment? Or do you catch yourself saying the obligatory self-deprecating response?

Sometimes I am really bad at taking compliments. I like getting sincere compliments over forced ones any day, but I feel really awkward about real ones still. I don't make self-deprecating comments, but I think inside I kind of question why the person is complementing me (I am very unsure of myself) and I don't know how to react. It probably comes off as me being arrogant or rude, but in reality I am just awkward and trying to handle it in the best way. I am glad to say this happens a lot less frequently now, I used to be way worse. But since I have found more self confidence I can handle compliments way better.

Assignment

Be vain and take a photo of yourself. Take a million of photos of yourself! Even if you don't post them, see what it feels like to be your own apple of your eye. Say, look at me! I am a fat bitch AND hot! Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

Here is a collage of all my vain activities from last week. Enjoy!

Covered Buttons

What I Wore:

Shirt: Smart Set

Skirt: Made by yours truly

Leggings: Suzy Shier

Socks: Spring

Boots: ModCloth

I like this shirt and skirt combination a lot. If you haven't figured out by now that I love polka dots than this shirt probably proves it. That's not the only thing I like about it though, I also really enjoy the fake pocket on the front (which is weird because usually fake pockets annoy me and I keep wanting to put things in them and then wonder why it isn't working, but for some reason I find it endearing on this shirt) and the covered buttons at the back of the neck. I like shirts that have buttons up the back, and I love covered buttons so I really can't lose with that combination. I just love buttons in general though and I tend to collect items of clothing with interesting buttons, or I hoard buy buttons to sew onto things at a later date. This dress is an example of something I bought mainly for the buttons. Buttons are just really cool.

I have been experimenting with taking natural lighting pictures for my outfit posts and I think I prefer the results over those taken with a flash. The pictures just look richer and more natural (haha). The only downside is then sometimes you get blurry pictures,or ones where I am moving a lot. Sometimes they look really cool like the last one from this set,but others are not so great. Usually Colin takes my pictures for me (if he isn't here I use a tripod that he got me for my burfday), but the shutter speed has to be pretty low because of the lighting in here and he often has to take a few in a row to get a steady shot. Style blog problems. Overall I prefer taking a few rounds of pictures over fake looking ones. What do you guys think? Yay or nay to natural lighting? 

So far I am enjoying doing outfit posts everyday, but I don't think I could keep up with this every week. It is a lot of work mostly because I am running out of things to say haha!

I'll Fly Away

What I Wore:

Shirt: H&M

Neckalce: Target

Cardi: Smart Set

Jeans: Zellers

Patches: c/o Vintage-Patch

Shoes: Ardene

I mentioned a while ago that I won the giveaway that was hosted by Vintage-Patch. I had been eyeing some of their products for a while and it came as a surprise when I actually won. I was sooooo excited when my patches arrived in the mail last week! I already had plans on what to do with them and I immediately went to work applying them (I will share that post later today). I love these jeans, and I have worn them a few times on here, but they were actually starting to wear out in the knees (which is weird because that's not where my pants usually begin to wear) so they were the perfect place to put my newly acquired patches. I wore these pants to work today and I got a lot of compliments on the patches. I am really happy with how they look, I am so happy that I won the giveaway, and I am very happy with my experience with Vintage-Patch. I will definitely be ordering from them at some point in the future.   

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This is un-related to the patches on my pants, but it happened while I was wearing these clothes and thought I would share. As I mentioned yesterday as part of my assignment for the Fat Bitch e-course this week I am going to do outfit pictures everyday. I think this assignment came at the perfect time because I received an unpleasant comment at work yesterday and I really needed an image boost afterwards, so taking vain pictures was perfect. Someone asked me if I was pregnant yesterday at work and it made me feel a little unhappy (at first). Now this has happened before a couple times in the past, and before it made me feel gross and uncomfortable. But not today. Today my response was "No, that's just my belly." and happily patted it. After they left I started to feel kind of angry, like they had intruded a bit into my life. The person was nice about it, but still is it a stranger's business to know if I am pregnant? No! Should they be asking those kinds of personal questions in a public setting? No! Should they be asking personal questions in general? No! I think the most annoying part is that every time this has happened the person has backed up my response by saying "Good, because I thought you looked too young anyway." Excuse Me?! You don't know how old I am. I could want to be pregnant at a young age (and I am 24, which considering isn't that young. I know a few people who are married and have kids already). And even if it was unplanned, you just don't say that. What if I wanted to get pregnant and couldn't, or I had a miscarriage and you just brought up painful memories? It's just inappropriate  It's my body and my business. And even after that I love my body. I love my round stomach, and a few un-wanted pregnancy comments can't make me hate it. I am fat and I am beautiful and those two things can be synonymous.

Kate Nash & Gratuitous Selfies

What I Wore:

Dress: ModCloth

Cardi: Thrifted (Talize)

Belt: Bealls

Tights: ModCloth

Shoes: Thrifted (Talize)

Brooch: FanExpo booth

This is the outfit that I wore to the Kate Nash concert on Friday night. I took some gratuitous selfies in the mirror, which worked out because this weeks assignment for the Fat Bitch e-course is to be vain and take pictures of ourselves. I apologize for the crappy cell phone pictures but I didn't have a chance to take proper outfit pictures before we left and it was super late when we got back. The concert was so good! She mostly played songs from her latest album which came out on Thursday last week. I had only heard a few of the songs from it before we got to see her, but it was kind of like a fun surprise to hear her new material.  The album kind of has an old school punk feel to it. Colin and I were talking about this over the weekend and there has been a progression since her first album, which was more indie/folk ballads, to her second album which was more rockabilly, and now the third one which is kind of punk. Kate Nash is a very talented musician and I think she pulls off all of these styles very well. She is kind of a bad-ass and has a killer punk voice. I got a couple pictures of the opening band Supercute (who totally lived up to their name) and Kate Nash.

The Horseshoe Tavern stage

Opening band Supercute

Kate Nash! 

Kate Nash and her all girl band singing back up

As part of the Fat Bitch e-course I am going to attempt to post outfit pictures everyday this week, so stay tuned for that! 

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course Week #4

After a brief hiatus Rachele is back with her blogging and the Fat Bitch e-course. Here is the latest assignment for you all. Enjoy! 

Discussion

How has seeing fat bodies in the media affected you? Like Adele, Gabourey Sidibe, Aidy Bryant from SNL, Beth Ditto, Melissa McCarthy, etc. Do you gravitate towards fat positive music, TV and movies?
We aren't really exposed to beautiful fat bodies in our culture. When we see fat bodies on tv or in movies they usually aren't shown in a positive light. I think this needs to change. All body types need to be shown as being beautiful. Everyone is different and we shouldn't be glorifying just one type of body. But I digress, right now I am writing about fat bodies in particular. I am relatively new to loving fat bodies. Not that I would hate on other people before, but I didn't love my own body and I didn't actively seek out other fat bodies (even as an inspiration to loving my own).  I don't think I tended to gravitate to other fat bodies in the past because I was in denial about my own. I didn't accept and love my fat so I didn't really love other's fat either. I didn't start to love my fat body and other fat bodies until I started reading fat acceptance blogs about a year ago. As a result I don't really have a fat body role model. Probably my first exposures to fat bodies being portrayed as beautiful in the media were America Ferrara in UglyBetty (she's more average than fat but it was a start) and Nikki Blonsky in the remake of Hairspray. I am going to make a more conscious effort now to seek out more media of fat bodies. It is good to have that kind of diverse body imagery in your life. There isn't just one kind of body, one kind of beautiful, and I think I need to educate myself more about fat bodies.

After writing the above I went and watched all of My Mad Fat Diary and I fell in love with the show and with Rae. She is beautiful and that show is amazing and a great inspiration for fat bodies everywhere. I was really struggling with the assignment this week, it went through a few incarnations, but I ended up settling on making a collage of Rae (Sharon Rooney). I hope you like it!

Assignment

Create a tribute to a fat body. Your fat body or somebody else's. Make a papier mache figure, draw a silhouette photograph your rolls, curate a collection of images of bodies similar to yours, etc. Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

Sharon Rooney from My Mad Fat Diary

P.S. There weren't a lot of full body pictures of anyone from this show so I had to work with what was available. 

Mini Skirts And How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course Week #3

What I Wore:

Coat: Winners

Hat and Gloves: Gifts from a friend

Scarf: Gift from a friend

Brooch: Thrifted (Value Village)

Bag: Gift from Colin

Dress: Bealls

Sweater: Zellers (?)

Tights: Dollorama

Socks: Ardene

Shoes: Spring

Brooch: Thriffted (Goodwill)

This is probably the longest What I Wore list I have ever posted, it is pretty lengthy. Totally worth it though because I am pretty sure this is my favourite outfit of the year so far, hands down. I got this dress during our trip to Florida, another Bealls find. I liked it's "colour" scheme (or lack of colour rather), the print, and of course the collar. It seems like a lot of the items from the trip I purchased because of the collar, haha! I like my pairing of the light blue and black and white too, I always think that black and white look good with a bright colour. I love the gold brooch paired with the blue too. I don't usually like gold jewelry,  but this one spoke to me for some reason. The whole outfit kind of gives off a sixties vibe, and I totally dig it. Which kind of segues into my next point.

Along with this outfit I am going to talk about my assignment for the How To Be  A Fat Bitch e-course that I have been participating in over on Rachele's blog. The assignment for this week was to wear something that "you might have felt weary about in the past". The dress is my item. Before I would have looked at it in the store and thought "Wow, that dress is really cute, but it is way too short for me!" I have always loved the style of the sixties, with it's bold prints, go-go boots and short skirts, but I never thought I could pull it off because of my shape. Lately though I have really been saying "eff that" and wearing whatever makes me feel good and happy. I was definitely stepping out of my comfort zone wearing something so short, but you know what? I am glad I decided to buy this dress, and I am proud that I actually wore it in public in front of a lot of people because I felt great and I felt like I was truly expressing myself with my style. I have finally started to buy clothes because I like them and I don't feel stuck within certain style parameters anymore. Sometimes I feel like I wasted so much time dressing how I thought I should instead of how I am wanted to. But that won't happen anymore. Since I started this blog I have also been working hard at #3 on Rachele's list; accepting your size, becoming familiar and comfortable with it. I have come a long way with this one, I rarely have bad days now, and I think wearing what I want has contributed to this. When I came home from Halifax I also worked on #4; getting rid of things that don't fit. I was definitely guilty of this one big time. I kept quite a few pairs of pants to wear for when I got smaller. That day never came and I have been lugging several pairs of pants and some other items around for a while now. Yes they were nice, but it's not like I can't get nice things now, and I feel a lot healthier after having purged those items. All of the things on Rachele's list really go hand in had with each other. I think probably the biggest thing for me was accepting myself first though, and then I was able to move on to the other things and develop my style. I am proud of myself, and I will never walk away from a great dress/skirt again because "it is a little too short." I expect to wear many more mini-dresses in the future!      

P.S. The first few pictures were taken during a walk with my family on Monday (Family Day here in Ontario). It was way too cold to take any pictures without my coat on, but I thought the ones I did get were nice. In case you were wondering the brooch on my coat is the one from the toilet incident that I wrote about  here.    

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course Week #2

Assignment

Reclaim the word fat and do something amazing with it. Make art, take photos of yourself with fat written on you, bake a cake with fat written in frosting, etc. I can't wait to see what you do! Blog it, Instagram it, Tweet it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below.

Discussion

What do you love most about the word fat? How has the word fat evolved for you?

I love that I have reclaimed the word fat for myself and that it is no longer a shameful thing. When I was growing up being fat was always the worst possible thing that could happen. My mother doesn't hate fat people, not at all, but she has a lot of body shame and I think she inadvertently passed it on to me. The most ridiculous part is that my mum is not fat at all. In school kids would make fun of me for being fat. Not so much my sister because she has always been relatively thin, but as I have always been bigger it was more directed at me. As I got older I got fatter, and it became a huge source of embarrassment. At family dinners and at restaurants my mother would say things like "Are you sure you want seconds? Are you sure you want dessert?" She wasn't doing it to be mean, she just didn't want me to feel like she did. The word became a shameful, hateful word and I hated myself in turn. But then I discovered fatactivism and fatshion and everything changed. Through the online community I learned to love my body, fat and all, and the word fat became empowering. I am a fat woman, that isn't a horrible thing, it is simply a description and I have learned to love and accept that fact. My fat is what makes me me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.     

How To Be A Fat Bitch e-course Week 1

For the next 52 weeks I am going to be participating in this e-course offered by Rachele over at The Nearsighted Owl. If you want to learn more I encourage you to check out the link above and maybe even sign up to take the course too!

Assignment:

Write down 5 things that you are going to do that make you happy. Not "even though you are fat" but because you are fat and awesome. 5 things that have nothing to do with trying for the sake of others. 5 things for yourself and your well being. Like "go out dancing and actually dance", "throw away my scale", "make something yummy and bring it to work to share", "join a yoga class" and "wear that tight leopard skirt". Blog it, Instagram it (#fatbitchecourse, #nearsightedowl), etc. and share it in the comments below. EXTRA CREDIT: Do some of them!

1. Wear what I want when I want.

2. Dye my hair red.

3. Sew, craft and create.

4. Write more letters.

5. Cook dinner for my family, something that everyone will like and can eat.

Discussion: 

How do you deal with people that make assumptions about you based on being fat? Is the best revenge to live well and be happy? How do you feel about the concept of there being a "good fatty" and a "bad fatty" perceived in society?


I have to say that no strangers have ever actually made any assumption about me and my weight to my face. Sometimes I think that people might be thinking something and not say it. This usually makes me feel self conscious at first. But I have been working on realizing that they are the ones with a problem, not me. When it comes to strangers I think the best revenge is to live well and be happy. You will probably never see that person again and it isn't worth provoking them when it doesn't really matter (especially if I am at work and it could escalate into a problem). When it comes to family and friends, I think education is the first step. And if they insist on being ignorant, then live well and be happy would be my next choice. This is the first time I have heard the "good fatty" and "bad fatty" concept put into so many words, but I think that it is very real and very ridiculous. "Good fattys" are the people who fuel the diet industry, but it isn't their fault because they have been inundated with that crap since birth. They need to know that there are other options. This whole concept that the fat people who have accepted themselves and begun to love themselves have "given up" pisses me off. There need to be more "bad fattys" in my opinion, here's hoping that some change can come from this course and more people can be brought into the "bad fattys" fold (see what I did there, ha!).